Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) for Unconditional Self-Acceptance

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, also known as REBT, has helped many individuals find hope and transform their mental well-being. This therapeutic approach not only helps people to learn self-acceptance and challenge their negative beliefs but empowers them to live a more meaningful life. At Centered Recovery, we know the importance of mental well-being in addiction recovery, which is why we incorporate REBT into our program! Whether you are looking for supportive tools in your journey to well-being, or if you are seeking customized treatment, we are here to help through the power of REBT!

Introduction to REBT

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy was first developed by the psychologist, Albert Ellis. In the mid-20th century, Ellis wasn’t satisfied with the approach that dominated the field at the time. He believed in the importance of identifying irrational thinking patterns as a way to find quicker and more effective treatment options. Ellis explained REBT as a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy in which the therapist adopts an active role in helping clients challenge their irrational thought patterns. REBT has evolved over the years, adding empirical research and applying it to many populations, but its core principles remain the same. 

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a type of therapy that emphasizes managing irrational thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Many therapy approaches rely on verbal discussion, while REBT focuses on tangible actions. By identifying irrational thought patterns and behaviors, it becomes easier to act in ways to shift this. REBT is based on the idea that life events are not what creates emotional distress, but rather the beliefs that we already have about these events. When we can shift our mindset in circumstances like this, we become better at giving ourselves self-acceptance. 

Core Principles of REBT

The heart of REBT revolves around understanding the concept of irrational beliefs. These are rigid, impractical, and unreasonable thoughts that can lead to emotional distress and hurtful behaviors. Ellis gave several examples of irrational beliefs:

1. Demandingness- believing that things must always be a very certain way (e.g., “I need to always complete tasks perfectly”).
2. Awfulizing- exaggerating the negative parts of a situation (e.g., “It’s terrible because it didn’t work out like I wanted”).
3. Low Frustration Tolerance- believing that you can’t endure any discomfort (e.g., “I can’t do anything if things are hard”).
4. Global Evaluation of Human Worth- believing that you are completely good or completely bad based on events or traits (e.g., “If I don’t succeed, I’m hopeless”). 

The ABC Model: Activating Event, Beliefs, Consequences

A (Activating Event)– any event or situation that causes any reaction

B (Beliefs)– what you believe or interpret about the activating event, whether rational or irrational. The beliefs about the event shape the emotional response. 

C (Consequences)– any emotional or behavioral outcomes that result from the beliefs. Rational beliefs lead to positive behaviors, while irrational beliefs often lead to maladaptive behaviors. 

Cognitive restructuring involves identifying, challenging, and then changing irrational thought patterns. The first step in this process is to identify any irrational beliefs that may be contributing to emotional distress. After this, it’s important to dispute these beliefs as false and unreasonable. When we can dispute these irrational beliefs, we can then replace them with more constructive beliefs that are flexible and aligned with reality. While these few steps can sound easy, practice is important when we are trying to unwire our brains out of irrational thought spirals. It’s okay if you don’t get it on the first try, practice is a wonderful tool!

Unconditional Self-Acceptance Explained

Unconditional Self-Acceptance refers to the concept of accepting ourselves fully as we are, without judgment. It refers to accepting ourselves regardless of our successes or failures. When we practice unconditional self-acceptance, we understand that we are inherently worthy just for existing, rather than any particular thing we accomplished. 

Self-acceptance is especially important in the world of mental health or addiction recovery. It’s not uncommon for those struggling in these ways to find it difficult to show themselves compassion and acceptance. But, when we learn that we are inherently worthy, we are less likely to feel such intense negative emotions like guilt, shame, or fear. Acceptance in this way promotes a reduced emotional burden on our daily lives. Unconditional self-acceptance also helps us to choose healthier behaviors when we need relief or support. Instead of turning to substances, unconditional self-acceptance guides us to engage in more self-care and supportive behaviors. Specifically in the world of addiction recovery, unconditional self-acceptance helps us focus on our journey, rather than the factors that led up to it. 

How REBT Promotes Unconditional Self-Acceptance

At first, it may seem daunting to challenge negative self-talk, especially if it’s something you do quite often. The first step in this process is to identify and name the things you say to yourself that are unhelpful. For example, this could include “I am not worthy because I failed”, “I have to be perfect to be successful”, “If I relapse, then I am a failure”, and “I can’t fail if I want to be loved”, etc. The list goes on and on! But, we must identify these statements so we can move forward.

When we can identify them, the next step is to work on reframing them. Negative self-talk is often irrational and unrealistic, and we can learn to believe that they are not true. Then, we learn how to replace these negative statements with positive, or even neutral ones. Instead of “I am not worthy because I failed”, we could say “I may not have done my best, but that doesn’t mean I’m a failure”. While this process takes practice, it is very important in your journey of healing. 

How to Foster Unconditional Self-Acceptance

You may be wondering how you can tangibly create a sense of self-acceptance. As we discussed earlier, cognitive restructuring is a great place to start! Challenging our negative views about ourselves is essential to promoting a more positive outlook. Another practice that can be super helpful is affirmation exercises. These are positive statements about ourselves that reinforce acceptance and self-worth. When we practice making these positive statements often, it becomes easier to adopt new, positive beliefs about ourselves. Mindfulness practices can be especially helpful in fostering self-acceptance. A goal of mindfulness is to experience your thoughts and emotions without placing judgment on them. When we don’t judge how we feel, we are bound to accept ourselves more for who we are in that moment. 

REBT can be especially helpful in a journey of recovery from addiction. Let’s imagine someone in addiction recovery who struggles with deep feelings of shame and self-hatred. This person truly believes that because of what they’ve done in the past, they are forever flawed and broken. Now let’s say this person gives REBT a try. This approach is used to help the person challenge their irrational beliefs as well as promote a stronger sense of self-acceptance. They use cognitive restructuring, practice self-affirmation exercises, and incorporate mindfulness into their daily lives.

Over time, the self-hatred and shame begin to fade, and instead, they meet themselves with compassion. As they increased their ability to hold compassion for themselves, they were better able to maintain sobriety and resist any triggers or temptations. They traded unhealthy coping behaviors for healthy ones, and their relationships were flourishing. This could be you! There is no such thing as irredeemable when it comes to recovery of any kind!

Practical Exercises and Techniques

• Each day, try to write down at least three things that you appreciate about yourself, no matter your mistakes or setbacks. Reflect on how these traits contribute to your overall sense of self-acceptance. 
• Write down a specific negative belief that you have about yourself. Next, ask yourself some important follow-up questions. Ex: “What evidence do I have that this is really true?”, “What evidence do I have that this is actually false?”, “Is my belief based on logical facts, or is it based on emotions?”. After asking these questions, think of a different belief that better reflects the true reality. 
• Utilize the ABC model! First, identify the activating (or triggering) event, note what beliefs come up when the event occurs, and then observe the potential emotional and behavioral consequences of this belief. Next, replace this belief with a more rational one and notice how this changes the emotional and behavioral consequences. 
• Set aside a few moments each day to mindfully observe your thoughts. When thoughts come up, do your best to notice them without making any judgment about them. You have the power to label these as “just thoughts” and choose to let them pass. Focusing on your breath in these moments can be helpful while the thoughts come and go. 
• All of these practices can help you distance yourself from any pattern of negative self-talk to develop a more compassionate approach to yourself!

Benefits of Embracing Unconditional Self-Acceptance

Enhancing Emotional Resilience

Unconditional Self-Acceptance can be particularly helpful in promoting emotional resilience. This means that you better cope with life’s difficult seasons or setbacks. When we learn to accept ourselves no matter what we do or how we feel, we’re less likely to be overwhelmed by negative emotions. Negative emotions as we venture through life can be viewed as a natural part of the human condition, rather than a reflection of how good we are. Another factor that ties into our emotional resilience is our ability to adapt quickly. Instead of overthinking about potential outcomes, we take bigger risks, knowing we are worthy regardless of what happens. This resilience that comes with adaptability can also increase our motivation to heal!

Building Healthier Relationships

The foundation of healthy relationships is a healthy relationship with ourselves. We can’t love others well if we walk around despising ourselves! When we practice unconditional self-acceptance, we reduce our desire and dependency on external validation. We no longer crave constant approval from others, which lets us be more authentic in our relationships. Also, when we accept our flaws, we tend to be more empathetic towards others. Our judgment decreases, and we’re less likely to feel threatened by how well someone else seems to be doing. All of these factors combined help us lead purposeful lives, especially in our relationships with others. 

Improving Overall Well-Being

Along with building emotional resilience and healthy relationships, self-acceptance improves overall well-being. When we accept ourselves, we see an increase in our overall self-esteem. With an increase in self-esteem, we tend to have a more stable and positive view of ourselves. Because of this, it’s natural that reduced stress and anxiety would come next. If we aren’t so wrapped up in ourselves and what we need to achieve or be, feelings of stress become less prominent. Self-acceptance also leads to overall improved mental health. With all of this in mind, something as simple as being compassionate with ourselves can lead to overall greater life satisfaction. 

How REBT is Used in SMART Recovery

SMART Recovery, or Self-Management and Recovery Training, is often used in addiction recovery. The goal of this approach is to promote self-empowerment and self-directed change. REBT is foundational in the approach of SMART Recovery! Through SMART Recovery, you learn that your thoughts, no matter how rational or irrational, are a significant factor in your emotions and behaviors. REBT helps you identify these beliefs, which lays a foundation to make positive change. The ABC model is often used in SMART Recovery as well. With this model, we’re better able to understand situations that may lead us to urges, and where we can challenge the beliefs that drive this desire. SMART Recovery focuses on building skills to promote self-efficacy or the belief that we can manage our recovery. REBT plays into this by encouraging recognition of our innate ability to take control of our thoughts and behaviors. 

Centered Recovery Offers REBT and SMART Recovery for Addiction Support

Centered Recovery Programs offer free community SMART Recovery meetings for those in the local greater Atlanta area! You do not have to be a client with us to attend these meetings. They are designed for everyone in the community who is seeking addiction support. SMART Recovery’s tools and techniques align with our mindfulness, non-12-step program. We believe that the more tools you have in your toolbox, the greater your personal growth can be. Join us in our Roswell facility on the first and third Wednesday of each month, starting at 6:15 pm!

If you are looking for a comprehensive treatment approach to supplement your support meetings, we are here to help!

Let’s get you started on your personalized rehab outpatient treatment program. Contact Centered Recovery today and embark on your journey towards sobriety. Call us today at 800-556-2966 to speak with an admissions counselor!

Written by Sydney Christiansen, Clinical Intern